Emotions and Attitude

Sharing thoughts and feelings. While talking with one of my sisters about my starting this blog, she questioned whether or not the blog was a good idea or not. She questioned whether or not a blog would be too emotional for me, adding that she didn't think she could do that if it was her. If you know me at all, you know that I'm not afraid to share what's going on in my life, including the emotional side. I may not share my deepest fears & feelings, but for the most part I will share most of it. I'm pretty much an open book, which at times drives my kids crazy. I have never been a private person. What you see is what you get.  

In my opinion a blog serves many purposes but above all it allows family & friends (that want to know) to be kept in the know on what's going on by them always having access to the online blog. Thus I'm not having to continually repeat it all over & over again to everyone that asks. Plus everyone then hears the same information 1st hand, thus eliminating false rumors. This blog is NOT meant to seek sympathy. It is meant to provide awareness & understanding. Plus it allows me to compose my thoughts in a concise factual manner as I share any information.

Many inquire on how Ray & I are handling things emotionally. I will attempt to express some of those feelings here. Although I must say that our emotions can vary from day to day depending on the most recent medical news we receive, & even the mood we may be in at any given time. But isn't that true for everyone?

Last week while sitting in the hospital waiting on Ray's biopsy to be completed, I was reading a most interesting & unusual book that really got me to thinking. It's title was "The Five Things We Cannot Change... and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them." According to the author, those 5 things are:

1. EVERYTHING changes & ends (and are inevitable, including life itself, relationships, happiness, sadness, our interests, etc.)
2. Things do not always go according to plan  
3. Life is not always fair
4. Pain is part of life
5. People are not loving & loyal all the time   

The author goes on to explain it all in depth & point out that it's how we handle those things that makes all the difference. Basically what I got out of reading the book is that if we can learn to ACCEPT the things that we cannot change for what they are & understand it's how it is, we will be better off & avoid the negative emotional toil it puts on us. The 'acceptance' part is what I am trying very hard to implement in my life these days. In other words, play the cards I am dealt the best I can & realize "it is what it is" & move on.

I have a very good friend that told me recently to not worry about what "might" happen. (Thank you Marita!) Ray & I are trying to do just that. Right now we really don't know what's down the road for us, nor what the final outcome will be. We are remaining positive & upbeat & carrying on with our daily lives normally. We are not down in our spirits, nor dwelling on negative things. Yes, we talk about it & know things may go downhill sooner or later, but we'll handle it if & when that happens. That's not to say that we don't have moments of anxiety & worry at times. Who wouldn't in our shoes? But for the most part, I think we are doing a pretty good job of 'accepting' things for what they are & moving forward.

There you have it in a nutshell. Don't worry about us, nor feel sorry for us. Things are what they are & we'll take each day as it comes & handle it. We can all look around & see others much worse off than we are in life. We can rejoice in every day that we wake up & feel okay. And if we wake some morning & don't feel so good, we'll try to accept that too & handle it as best we can. Right now Ray is feeling perfectly fine & we are truly enjoying life.  Yes, remaining positve may not be easy at times, but we're going to do our best! For now it's relatively easy because Ray isn't really in any physical distress; well except for those dang shots I'm giving him in his stomach, but that's minor & only lasts about 5 seconds per day. ;-)
 
Since publishing this blog, I have already heard from so many via email with kind caring words. That is indeed appreciated & I thank you all for that. It's heartwarming to know that so many care. 

I probably won't have anything more to blog about until our next hospital appointment on Dec. 11th.